lift.

lift something.

"healthy"

whole30 happy and healthy (and on TOUR)

I have had nothing but success in my endeavors into the Whole30 program. And if you know me, then you know I basically will listen to every single thing Melissa and Dallas Hartwig tell me I should do to be a more healthy individual. I have expressed in previous posts in my life my frustration with people having health issues and "giving up" and doing virtually nothing to change the factors they can control (ie the food they eat). Now, I understand that it is virtually out of my hands whether someone decides to pick up a hard boiled egg or a grandefrenchvanillaskinnylattenofoam however I have taken the issue personally on many levels of my life due to immediate family health problems. As I have, in some posts, vaguely (and in others, very frustratingly detailed) expressed what is happening under this roof, my mother was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome (Kidney Disease) fifteen years ago. My mom had "given up" if you will. She would wake up, detach herself from the dialysis machine, grab her phone and iPad, slowly get downstairs, walk to the kitchen and stick 4 waffles (Eggo) in the toaster. She would then sit down on the couch and eat some or all of them while turning on the TV where she would sit for the duration of the day (with a few get ups here and there in between the day). Things I hear myself saying on repeat is "why are you sitting here all day", "get up and walk around the house once an hour", "can you please eat a vegetable", "will you at least try this way of eating for 2 weeks?" etc etc etc.
Well, my mother never listened to a word I said.
My mom passed away on August 20th, 2012.
(Day 20 of my Whole30 that was being outlined in this blog.)
She was 50.
I can sit here and tell you all about how I just wished she listened to me. If she had only walked around the house. Eaten a vegetable.. if only if only. I don't know what it is that caused Nephrotic Syndrome in her (we have 0 family history of it) but I am firm in my belief she could have tried to change something. But I guess.. after 15 years, the last thing you want to hear is "try this."

So in an honest open blog-o-sphere which I promised I would partake in, after August 20th of last month I quit my Whole30. I am pretty sure that if I had not eaten the food that people were bringing to my house then I would have not eaten at all. I'm not looking for a get-out-of-jail-free pass, just being honest.
Mentally, as of late, I have spiralled downward into this weird "what's the point" depression I am desperately trying to get myself out of. And I think I'm doing a decent job, but I am still very dissatisfied with life and what it has dealt myself and my family. Lack of sleep (or inability to fall asleep) is reeeeally not helping..



My goals overall in life is to be able to play my music and be happy and healthy. To me, that means eating amazingly great foods (healthy is the most delicious way you could ever eat unless you listen to everything on TV commercials), sleeping a healthy amount, going out and being social, lifting/working out 3-4x a week and singing. That is my overall goal. I wish to eliminate injuries and stress from my life.

I wish to be happy
I wish to be healthy
I wish to inspire my siblings (1 older/2 younger - all radically unhealthy)

So yeah. That is my post. And it is almost 11p.. I am going to try desperately to sleep.

Thanks to Whole9 for their wonderful seminar. Always fantastic to see you guys. And thanks for "spreading the good food word" :)

"we need a picture but I have to be in the middle"

ps. donations made to the National Kidney Foundation in my mother's name (Deborah Aurelio) are the only gift my family asks for. Now and always. Thanks xo

food porn (days 15-19)

day 14

2 weeks in the hole.
Feeling bright throughout the day. Not very tired at all, until night time. Then I feel like I'm hit in the head with tiredness. But all in all, energy is through the roof. Eating tons of food. Probably too much. Still not working out. But knee didn't hurt on day 14 (also, lots of icing and an Epsom salt bath.)

left overs breakfast.
i could eat eggs all day.

tuna salad a la Dean's Natural Food Market,
they don't use sugar in their foods - so I felt pretty safe eating this.

tuna made me burp-ey. Did not like that at all. Will be sticking to my own meals.

Was not hungry for my dinner. Also, maybe tired of eating it (the last of a huge meal I had cooked). Came home and ate an apple.

Need to go grocery shopping today, have no food! Need something creative for my week. I don't have tons of money. Working the Whole30 on a budget, people. Oh, also. I'm going on tour for the last 8 days of this Whole30. Should. Be. Interesting.

day 13

breakfast on the go. 

lunch.

there was no time for dinner. I had a gig, so I "fasted" without thinking. Lots of water/club soda at gigs these days.

Crazy town

Today I went to "Paleo Paranoia Guilt Town"
A friend of mine made me dinner and let me skip her side of pasta. She make turkey sausage with a salad dressed in homemade dressing. The dressing included avocado, lemon, dill, olive oil and a dressing base. I may or may not have snuck to see what was in the base. Some canola oil but other than that nothing sneaky (crazy town, yes). Afterwards my nose was all running. And I felt warm. I'm positive this was because I WENT INSANE. I was so paranoid that the food wasn't of quality to what I'd been eating and was being so sneaky to make sure this gorgeous meal she made for me was Whole30 friendly I made myself sick for a minute. It was crazy ha. But yeah. Day 12 in the bag. Haha... Oh man.

Uploading via iPhone. Photos are:

Breakfast (eggs, tomato, mushroom)
Dinner (turkey sausage, salad)
Beverage (seltzer, lime, BENDYSTRAW)

Not pictured: fruit/almond butter. Late night snacking with a friend. That was my snack of choice. I think excess but butters make my lower back hurt. Does that make sense? Anyway. I'm off to sleep 11 hours.


Oh and my knee is tendinitis :((

day 9

this is what it looked like. no complaints about moods :) 

these long whole30 days are getting much, much shorter! (aka easier and easier.)

day off WOD?

fresh squeezed OJ

omelette with roasted red peppers and spinach.
passed on the questionable sausage.
veggies and fruit!

raw veggies to roasted veggies. lovelovelove

grass-fed ground beef + 1 egg = amazing-ness

this salad involved lettice, seaweed, avocado and crab...
obviously no time for a photo op.

SASHIMI. 

oi vey.

Food is starting to look a little repetitive! When I run out of everything I've cooked maybe I'll do more of a fish week or something. Who knows.

Today was very little sleep... maybe 5 hours. And I'm typing this quickly so I can sleep.
I was super grumpy all day. My knee hurt so badly. I was frustrated that my knee hurt (BECAUSE TECHNICALLY THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT [so says MRI and Orthopedic] BUT OMG IT HURTS DAMN YOU DANCE CLASS)

Also really wanted cookies. And didn't have any. Officially completed day 8 successfully. Huzzah. Tomorrow is a full day off. Starts with the beach, ends with sushi (sashimi, I know).

I came home at 10 PM to find all these lovely things staring at my face. Let's take a look into my family's kitchen, shall we?

this is my life.

you can see my lime in the bottom picture haha. my food is all hidden away amongst the poison..

my food today......

breakfast.
i will happily exhaust this meal, it's my favorite dish!

snacking for no good reason.

my spaghetti squash/sausage creation.
had this for lunch and dinner.

my dog has the right idea...
goodnight blogger.


(ISN'T HE ADORABLE?)

one week complete.

today was good. proud of myself for making it to day 7. going to a yoga class tomorrow morning post staff meeting at 9:30. knee hurt while i was at work today but for obvious reasons (standing and standing and standing; retail)

Note: I had a staring contest with a chocolate chip cookie at Starbucks today. I won.

ingredients.

breakfast creation 

the start of a delicious creation.

dinner, spaghetti squash, jersey fresh™ tomato sauce and sausage (whole foods)

at work, didn't even WANT! win.

day 7 in the bag. bring on week 2!

can I just say....

I feel on top of the god damn world this morning.

days 6!

Have I already made it through day 6? I feel like I breezed through today. And today I had off from work (I've been working every day of the Whole30 so far). I know 6 days isn't THAT much but when we're talking to a girl who has tried again and again and failed at this challenge, 6 days is a lot. And I'm excited to get to 7, 15 and finally 30! Mind you, I have not been working out. At all. I've been working a lot and I have an injured knee (which, today was the first day I did not take anti-inflammatories and my knee did not hurt. hooray!) I'm trying to get back to lifting but will give myself the proper healing time before I begin to lift (I will just move my body a bit, methinks!) Today I had tons of energy. I got angry for a minute. I slumped for a minute. But all-in-all, great energy/attitude today. Food was awesome, went to Whole Foods and got more - for tasty recipes. Making some spaghetti squash with sausage/tomato sauce combo as well as tuna-cakes (tuna, almond flour, egg + coco oil) ---these will be for tomorrow. I have been sleeping like a machine. 9-10 hours every night, probably seriously helping this process. However... I always sleep on my stomach.. and was just informed that it's the worst way in the world to sleep (wonderful). But yeah. Hooray, day 6!

breakfast, the green period.

[went food shopping at whole foods and found some treats]

I got way too excited about buying these local delights today

Americano

dinner of a lazy lady

zing!

oh and here.

meet, my child :) JJ!