"healthy"

whole30 happy and healthy (and on TOUR)

I have had nothing but success in my endeavors into the Whole30 program. And if you know me, then you know I basically will listen to every single thing Melissa and Dallas Hartwig tell me I should do to be a more healthy individual. I have expressed in previous posts in my life my frustration with people having health issues and "giving up" and doing virtually nothing to change the factors they can control (ie the food they eat). Now, I understand that it is virtually out of my hands whether someone decides to pick up a hard boiled egg or a grandefrenchvanillaskinnylattenofoam however I have taken the issue personally on many levels of my life due to immediate family health problems. As I have, in some posts, vaguely (and in others, very frustratingly detailed) expressed what is happening under this roof, my mother was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome (Kidney Disease) fifteen years ago. My mom had "given up" if you will. She would wake up, detach herself from the dialysis machine, grab her phone and iPad, slowly get downstairs, walk to the kitchen and stick 4 waffles (Eggo) in the toaster. She would then sit down on the couch and eat some or all of them while turning on the TV where she would sit for the duration of the day (with a few get ups here and there in between the day). Things I hear myself saying on repeat is "why are you sitting here all day", "get up and walk around the house once an hour", "can you please eat a vegetable", "will you at least try this way of eating for 2 weeks?" etc etc etc.
Well, my mother never listened to a word I said.
My mom passed away on August 20th, 2012.
(Day 20 of my Whole30 that was being outlined in this blog.)
She was 50.
I can sit here and tell you all about how I just wished she listened to me. If she had only walked around the house. Eaten a vegetable.. if only if only. I don't know what it is that caused Nephrotic Syndrome in her (we have 0 family history of it) but I am firm in my belief she could have tried to change something. But I guess.. after 15 years, the last thing you want to hear is "try this."

So in an honest open blog-o-sphere which I promised I would partake in, after August 20th of last month I quit my Whole30. I am pretty sure that if I had not eaten the food that people were bringing to my house then I would have not eaten at all. I'm not looking for a get-out-of-jail-free pass, just being honest.
Mentally, as of late, I have spiralled downward into this weird "what's the point" depression I am desperately trying to get myself out of. And I think I'm doing a decent job, but I am still very dissatisfied with life and what it has dealt myself and my family. Lack of sleep (or inability to fall asleep) is reeeeally not helping..



My goals overall in life is to be able to play my music and be happy and healthy. To me, that means eating amazingly great foods (healthy is the most delicious way you could ever eat unless you listen to everything on TV commercials), sleeping a healthy amount, going out and being social, lifting/working out 3-4x a week and singing. That is my overall goal. I wish to eliminate injuries and stress from my life.

I wish to be happy
I wish to be healthy
I wish to inspire my siblings (1 older/2 younger - all radically unhealthy)

So yeah. That is my post. And it is almost 11p.. I am going to try desperately to sleep.

Thanks to Whole9 for their wonderful seminar. Always fantastic to see you guys. And thanks for "spreading the good food word" :)

"we need a picture but I have to be in the middle"

ps. donations made to the National Kidney Foundation in my mother's name (Deborah Aurelio) are the only gift my family asks for. Now and always. Thanks xo