one week complete.

today was good. proud of myself for making it to day 7. going to a yoga class tomorrow morning post staff meeting at 9:30. knee hurt while i was at work today but for obvious reasons (standing and standing and standing; retail)

Note: I had a staring contest with a chocolate chip cookie at Starbucks today. I won.

ingredients.

breakfast creation 

the start of a delicious creation.

dinner, spaghetti squash, jersey fresh™ tomato sauce and sausage (whole foods)

at work, didn't even WANT! win.

day 7 in the bag. bring on week 2!

can I just say....

I feel on top of the god damn world this morning.

days 6!

Have I already made it through day 6? I feel like I breezed through today. And today I had off from work (I've been working every day of the Whole30 so far). I know 6 days isn't THAT much but when we're talking to a girl who has tried again and again and failed at this challenge, 6 days is a lot. And I'm excited to get to 7, 15 and finally 30! Mind you, I have not been working out. At all. I've been working a lot and I have an injured knee (which, today was the first day I did not take anti-inflammatories and my knee did not hurt. hooray!) I'm trying to get back to lifting but will give myself the proper healing time before I begin to lift (I will just move my body a bit, methinks!) Today I had tons of energy. I got angry for a minute. I slumped for a minute. But all-in-all, great energy/attitude today. Food was awesome, went to Whole Foods and got more - for tasty recipes. Making some spaghetti squash with sausage/tomato sauce combo as well as tuna-cakes (tuna, almond flour, egg + coco oil) ---these will be for tomorrow. I have been sleeping like a machine. 9-10 hours every night, probably seriously helping this process. However... I always sleep on my stomach.. and was just informed that it's the worst way in the world to sleep (wonderful). But yeah. Hooray, day 6!

breakfast, the green period.

[went food shopping at whole foods and found some treats]

I got way too excited about buying these local delights today

Americano

dinner of a lazy lady

zing!

oh and here.

meet, my child :) JJ!

day 5 photo

breakfast!

quick-y lunch, courtesy of Dean's Market

it may look ugly but it tasted good.
grass-fed ground beef (w onions/garlic) and steamed broccoli 

done :)

_______________________

day 3-4

forgot to post yesterday. had an anger filled day. began with work and such and ended with a beautiful concert by Ingrid Michaelson at the count basie theater. food:

breakfast

lunch

dinner a la red bank diner, sans hash browns.

today was pretty good. worked, again. i feel like work is helping me get through my first week, however i find ive been eating a LOT of cashews. so im going to try to cut that down, it's unnecessary. head ache right now, but before then i was pretty full of energy today. lots of sleep. good food.
my sister's birthday party was today (her birthday isn't until october? i dont know) and there was cake and chips and cheese and chocolate to dip fruit in. i had almond butter instead.. at least i was good!

breakfast! got milk? (nope)

lunch

almond butter amongst the massive amazing looking cake.

i know it wouldn't be worth it anyway.

not pictured: mango & cashews snacked on at work (need to stop doing that) and 800 cups of tea.

knee still hurts. :(

really worried about needing a steroid shot in 3 weeks... eek.

sleep is pretty good, tired and it's 10:21p right now, so yay.

night.

day two, in the bank.

today was easier.

and by easier i mean i worked ALL DAY and had food cooked and at the ready when i was hungry. yes, prep!

mood was only slightly better than yesterday. a little more upset than yesterday's RAGE. all having nothing to do with diet and more with life circumstances.

slept sort of okay but for a long time, i'd say 9 hours.

knee was throbbing all morning, but went away later in the day.

working all day again tomorrow. my day might look identical to today. which is okay.

cheers.

breakfast

thumbs up

breakfast.

tea x 800000

lunch.

snacked on cashews and ate a chicken leg (1) when i got home. very much not hungry.

yoga tomorrow at 8 am

&

goodnight.

true confessions of a whole30 failure.

so here I am. take 729 on my quest to complete a whole30. i always say i will complete this. and i never do. i constantly fill my head with 'im a 20-something, i shouldn't have to be this strict' 'im busy' 'musicians dont have to be as picky as i am'. all this bull shit i need to snap myself out of before i let myself get out of control. cookie addiction is a serious problem in america today, folks..
but all kidding aside. i have real issues i am ready to undertake.
i am severely depressed. i am. it's a fact. i'm a year out of college, living at home trying to make it as a musician. i've already accepted this fate. i just want to be a little happier.
my sleep is awful.
i have allergies, still.
i am positive there is something severely wrong with my gut.
i am tired all the time. all. the. time.
all my family eats is pasta/snacks/bagels. (again, i live at home)
i live on cookies.

i am just at wits end with feeling this way because (way back when) i ate paleo very consistently and had never felt better in my whole life. i got caught up in the science of it and tried to 'perfect it' (zone, warrior, and any other "paleo versioned diet" you can name) - my body freaked out, my anorexic tendencies came back (flash back to high school cross country and an 86#, 5' tall samantha) and now here i am, uncomfortable in body and mind. ready and ready and READY to change.
i am going to a whole9 seminar in Hoboken with my best friend on Sept 9th --- so i'm determined to complete this challenge.

day 1. which couldn't have gone worse.

woke up late.
late to work.
got in trouble.
busy as hell.
tired.

brought food with me. made hard boiled eggs and had cucumber and a pepper.

tried pecan-butter today. i'll stick to my almond butter.

made lamb chops/sautéed mushrooms for dinner.

beyond super stressed out.
kinda mad at myself.

right now i am in a terrible mood about life and respect and self worth. i am tired and cranky. and i want to be 100% honest because this is where i'm documenting my journey. today was awful. but it's only up from here..

**also. i am injured. my knee is injured (the tendons were swollen from hurting my knee and they're on the road to recovery) -- want to throw that out there. working out is super limited for me right now.

black Americano. go team USA.

hard boiled eggs, cucumber, pepper

lamb chops (grass-fed), mushrooms and onion. (sauteed in olive oil)

not photo'd: almond butter, lara bar (discarding these from my life as of today -- would much rather eat an apple), cashews (can you tell I went shopping and was eating in line?)

lots of fat today. was slightly less prepared than I wanted to be. but tomorrow is another day. and I ate whole30 approved. so yay, day 1.

goodnight.